Who Show Me My Rainbows

Navratri started two days ago, it is an Indian festival where we get idols of goddess durga and perform pooja and be all religious. It is a festival which leads up to Dussehra, a symbol of good winning over evil.

Anyway, this is not what I really want to talk about, and as it is, I am not an expert on festivals either. So, I saw the procession when the idol was being brought to where it was going to be kept for the next nine days. It was in a big truck kind of thing, I don't know what it's called. From the distance I could see, a beautiful idol, richly dressed and smiling all around. Standing tall amidst the procession even with all the lights flashing. I was awed by the majesty, the beauty, the power. I stood there entranced, unable to take my eyes off of her. All the while, the truck kept coming closer and closer. When it was right in front of me, I noticed two people, one on the side and one at the back, holding the idol steady, the jerky movement of the truck was making the idol oscillate violently and these two people were standing there precariously maintaining there own balance and supporting the idol.

What I am trying to say here is something which is much more relevant to our own lives.
You can't stand tall alone.
When you wish to do something big, or for that matter when you wish to do anything small also, you need support, you need people you can lean on, people you can trust, people who stick around with you. You need people who are willing to bend over backwards to help you, to support you. You would think, "yeah! who is going to do that for me? As if there are people in this world you can trust".
My response would be, well, look around. Do you see your family? In the fringes of your life somewhere, your family is always present. Your mom, your dad, your significant other, your siblings. You may have a thousand fights with them, you may not get along a lot, one or the other or all of them hurt you or ditched you sometime,but when one ditched you, the other had your back. They may not always be present, they may not always treat you right, but hey, they are your go-to people. They will stand by you when all else fails. Not all of them, not all the time. But at least some of them, some of the time. All of this can be applied to friends too, if you are lucky enough to find good ones.

You know why it is difficult to find good friends? Because the people can't accept one another as they are, they wish to look for something perfect, I think that's the reason marriages so often fail. Accepting people as they are, is the key to lasting bonds, where you don't judge, you just love, not the imperfections, but the tiny little perfections in a person.

So, coming back, you need to recognise the group of people who are supporting you in your jerky truck, and you need to value them. Value them and support them right back. Because I don't think you would want your support system to become sloppy.

People will say, I don't need anybody, I can do things all on my own. They couldn't be more wrong. I spent a lot of time trying to do just that. Couldn't have been more horrible a failure. And then it struck me, while I proclaimed that I was doing everything on my own, it couldn't have been any bigger a lie. Because I had my family right beside me, and I didn't even consider them people! They were my support, and I didn't recognise it, I won't be able to take a single step without my support. Because it is easy to say I can manage on my own when things are going good or even okay, it's when the waters are troubled that you can't manage on your own, when you need you support.

To reach the top of the pyramid, you need someone to be the base, you need your equipment, you need your stabilizers. Alone, you are just a drop of water, with others, you can fill up a bottle (come on, no one has a support system as big as an ocean :P )

You need help, you always will, you just need to find out who the people are who are those pillars who hold your roof, who are the shoulders carrying you to a pedestal, who are the prisms giving you the rainbows.

Dear Girls

Dear Girls,

I have some very cliched advice to give you. Be yourself. Everyone today is telling everyone else to be themselves. You would think, what's the big deal? So, I be a little fake, who isn't now-a-days. I would say, truly said, but it's that fakeness precisely which is holding you back. Holding you back from happiness. Because when you are fake, people can see it, they can tell you are not being yourself, and trust me, that causes a lot of misery.

I know this girl, she is the kindest, sweetest, most intelligent girl I have ever met. She is very beautiful too. But she is a tomboy, or tries to hide behind it. She would love to dress up and look good and be appreciated, but she doesn't. And sometimes you can sense that that's what she wants but is scared. I think she is scared of not being taken seriously as a person if she does that. I don't really know the reason, but I can see that she is holding herself back. If she just is herself without fear and guilt and whatever else she feels, she will probably blast everyone and every stereotype out of her way and be the happiest and most content person around.

Because when you are not being yourself, you are scared, not confident, shy, and then you try to hide behind someone you are not, and that is bad for you, really bad.

There is this other girl I know, she really is herself all the time (well, most of the time). She is her own kind of person, with elements of tomboyishness and girlishness. She can speak for hours on sports and she has a great fashion sense. She is not scared of who she is, or of not being liked. She is the most popular girl in her college (goes without saying, doesn't it?).

See, the importance of being your own kind of person cannot be emphasized enough. You need to be exactly who you are, without restrictions on yourself. The world needs originals, copies can be manufactured in factories. And it's the originals who change the world. And the world needs changing. The world will always need changing and you can't do it unless you embrace your own self first. Be unapologetic for who you are, or what you like. 

But there is one thing you need to remember, being your own self should not be destructive for others. You can say that I identify with being a burglar, so I am a burglar and I don't apologize for it (now, that would be something worth watching :P), Your values, your beliefs, your self should be such that it enhances you without damaging others. Your freedom ends at the point where another person's freedom begins.

And you should not just embrace yourself, but also others for who they are, because there is some magic, some good, inside everyone. What you see in a person is a direct result of your equation with the person. Even the Indian Gods,when angered, tend to be evil and irrational. Everyone has their own brand of good in them, you should try to see it, and let them be, just like you should let yourself be. Don't judge yourself, love yourself.

Although this is true for everybody but it is more important for girls because I see that girls have more self-image and self-confidence issues than guys. Don't have issues with your own self, it's perfect. 

Be you, unapologetically.

Love,

plain_jane

Being a kid again

I know my blogs are becoming increasingly about my own life, but that's where I draw most of my insights. So, I tend to be biased and personal in my blogs.

So, here is what I want to say this time, don't grow up too fast.

Recently, a list was put up in my department detaining the students having less attendance. There was a process with quite a bit of paperwork to get out of the detention which most people followed, after all, who wants detention?

But it sent a loud and clear message to the students that the days of their tyranny were over. They had to toe the line and attend classes. Everybody was disgruntled of course.

For the past few days, my class has seen unprecedented attendance rise. Almost seventy percent of the class has been coming. And surprisingly enough, those three days have been few of my happiest in college. Now, you would say I lead a sad little life to be happy about this but there is something about a full class which makes you forget your miseries.

The constant buzz, the jokes on each other, the talking to people sitting ahead and behind you, the very mundane things. These ordinary things seem special to me, because they remind me of school. It reminded me of those carefree days where the goal of coming to class was having fun with the people who were inaccessible otherwise (friends staying far).

Our professors put this rule for their own good reason but what it has done is remind me that I am still a kid. I was so busy trying to grow up, that I forgot to enjoy the few years left to me of still being considered a kid. Once out of college, everyone will be considered a responsible adult. You have to be on time, be disciplined, maintain your own life, earn money, support families. This change is expected immediately after you leave college, so we drive ourselves crazy preparing for it. Filling our resumes with new and important stuff that we do, trying to cram a lot of stuff in our college years to make ourselves an asset to our future company.

What we become in the process are cynical people, who blame the system for pointless assignments, abuse our teachers for their incompetency, find that attending classes is a waste of the precious time which could be used to strengthen job prospects. While all that is true, their is one essential thing we forget, we are still kids. That going to classes is fun if everyone comes. Yes, people hang out with their friends all the time, spending time with people who mean something to them. But the countless meaningless people who fill up our classrooms are what make the classes fun for us. For many of us sad people, that's the only place a few laughs come from.

I can see the change is so good, I enjoy coming to class again. it's not the monotonous drone of a professor now, it is a place where I laugh, on others and myself. A place filled with a positive buzz. A place so much like my home of twelve years, my school, where I had some of the best days of my life.

I don't know what others think, but I think the professors have given me a gift, a gift to be a carefree kid, for the very last time.